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New Delhi, June 13 – Online dating is more than just looking through countless profiles till you find the one. It calls for much more than mindless scrolling; it calls for setting priorities in order to avoid grief and falling victim to situations that can be avoided. Boundaries, setting them appropriately and when appropriate, appear to be at least 41 per cent of daters’ all-inclusive answer.
Indian dating and matchmaking app, QuackQuack’s recent survey analyses the advantages of boundaries in a budding online relationship. 10,000 daters from tier 1 and 2 cities participated in the survey. Participants ranged between 18 to 35 years. QuackQuack Founder and CEO Ravi Mittal commented, “We used to see matches discussing likes and dislikes in their initial chatting phase, but now we notice users between 18 to 35 setting boundaries first, mostly in cases where they are scared of heartbreak.”
Boundaries should start early
32 per cent of daters between 21 and 30 say that setting boundaries as soon as you match is essential, and it ensures safety while dating new people. These daters call it the best way to keep yourself from getting emotionally hurt in the event things don’t go the way you want them to. From setting a time limit on how long you will interact with your new match per day to asking them not to call or text you during office hours or any other time of the day that isn’t convenient for you, boundaries can help daters from investing too much of their time in a could-be relationship.
Keep it under wraps
37 per cent of women between 25 and 30 advise young daters to keep their private information within the boundaries. Budding connections are known to cloud people’s judgment, and that is when most daters make mistakes, such as sharing their home address or giving away sensitive information, blinded by the idea of potential love. These women from metros and smaller cities mention the importance of setting this boundary even before downloading a dating app. No matter how amazing your match might seem, maintain the confidentiality of private information.
Steer clear from fights
The best way to avoid miscommunication and dodge unnecessary fights is to set certain limits early in the relationship and come to a mutual understanding of what falls within them and what is beyond, as stated by 25 per cent of daters from tier 1 and 2 cities. If you let your potential partner know that you will not compromise some aspects of your life at the very beginning, they will either date you as you are and not expect it or pass because it does not work for them. Either way, it helps avoid future conflicts.
It’s okay to refuse
The two most crucial boundaries to set while dating online are private photos and financial talks, says 42 per cent of daters between 20 and 28. If you sense that a conversation might take such a turn, make it evident that you are not comfortable with it; 22 per cent of women in the group articulated that even if it seems okay to talk about such things, or your date seems trustworthy enough to be shared a photo with, don’t. It’s okay to say no.
17 per cent of men above 25 say a timeline while chatting with an online date is one boundary they always set as soon as they match. How long they’ll wait for the first date, how long they will wait for a reply, how many reschedules they’ll overlook, everything is set before entering the talking phase. They expressed how it protects you from people who will merely drag you around without committing to anything real.
Block if they stalk
39 per cent of women above 30 say it’s perfectly alright to cut off communication and even go as far as blocking someone when you have already expressed your disinterest in them more than once. Allow yourself to build that boundary if someone cannot take no for an answer. It will help you rid yourself of unnecessary guilt associated with rejecting someone.